(From left) Hae, 8, Ann, “Wookie,” 12, Ethan, 8, Jae Jin, 11, and Jae Sang Ali, 9, may be an unconventional family, but as of last month Ann’s adopted children are officially U.S. citizens.
Staff Writer
For one Signal Hill family, the “American dream” has finally come true.
Ann and Tariq Ali have what some would consider an unconventional family. The couple has adopted five children over the last 12 years, all from South Korea. This would be an incredible undertaking for any couple, but the Ali family is even more complicated— all the children, who range in age from 12 to 8 years old, have special needs.
“I’m sure for the average person looking in, they must think, ‘How can you do it?'” Ann said. “It’s not easy, but I wouldn’t have it any other way.”
Last month, four of the Alis’ children were naturalized as citizens of the United States, completing their journey from South Korean orphanages.
Every year thousands of U.S. citizens adopt children from overseas, but not many choose children with special needs.
“I didn’t really want to have kids of my own,” Ann said. “Plus, I was having trouble, and I didn’t want to go in vitro fertilization— it was pointless. My husband asked me, why want something that doesn’t exist when there are children out there that do exist and need a family?”
The Alis have faced plenty of challenges along the way. Most notably, Ann said, is others’ misconception of their finances.
“People assume if you adopt internationally that you get the same benefits as foster care, where the State pays for the children, where you get a check every month,” Ann said.
Even the principal at one of the children’s schools accused Ann of withholding her son’s Social Security check after the teacher requested she purchase him an iPad with a talking app to help him communicate. The principal threatened to call Social Services.
“I didn’t have $1,000,” Ann said. “I told her, ‘check my bank account and see where I’m getting this money from because it doesn’t exist.’ We work, just like the average family next door who works and takes care of their kids. It’s the same.”
It’s clear the massive undertaking of raising five children, let alone, children with special needs, has been a labor of love for the Ali family.
Their only daughter, Hae, who has severe autism and cardiovascular problems, needed intensive surgery only four months after she arrived from South Korea. The Alis knew she was ill before she arrived.
Ann said another aspect of her family that other people find controversial is that they have adopted international children, ignoring the needs of American children without families.
“Well, we tried,” Ann said. “But the waiting list for domestic adoption was about two years at the time. We knew we wanted a special-needs child.”
The Ali Family was told that they would need to do foster care, but Ann was uncomfortable with that. She said she wouldn’t have minded fostering a child to adoption, but the thought of a child being ripped from her home was too much for her.
The couple decided to use Holt International, the first international adoption agency, which opened in Korea during its civil war in the 1950s. They adopted their son “Wookie” first.
“After we chose Wookie, we were told he was too disabled to be adopted out, that he was to spend his time in a mental institution,” Ann said. “The agency and our social worker fought for us to get him.”
The Alis certainly have their hands full, but it’s little moments for Ann that remind her of the rewards of this lifestyle.
Daughter, Hae, who is 8 years old, is mostly non-verbal. Last month, Ann said that Hae came up to her and told her “I love you.”
“People usually hear that when their kids are much littler, but it took her eight years,” Ann said. “Just the little things that people take for granted, we get so excited. Our oldest, Wookie, is mentally disabled and just watching him do basic tasks, helping out or doing chores— it’s a big deal for us.”
Watching her family become naturalized as American citizens was also a proud moment, but nothing compares to the day they were able to meet each of their children.
“We were most excited when we signed those adoption papers,” Ann said. “They are ours. It was very emotional. We were just happy and filled with joy. It’s like the feeling if you give birth— you are getting a new child.”
The couple may look as if they have their hands full, but Ann says that the family wants to adopt more children.
“This time we want an older child,” Ann said. “They are harder to place. They aren’t wanted— but we want them. It’s rewarding when you see how far the kids have come. They probably would not have survived otherwise.”
