By Neena Strichart
Last weekend we had a little party to celebrate my mother’s 95th birthday. Mom, wanting to scale down the hoopla (compared to the 125-plus guests for her 90th birthday party) insisted we keep the invitee list below 30 people this time. Her wish was my command.
Having such an intimate crowd allowed for a relaxing lunch, and it gave Mom and the other attendees a chance to have some nice individual conversations.
Besides featuring a slideshow of Mom’s pictures through the years, and passing around a book that was created five years ago by local memoirist/author Rachael Rifkin telling of Mom’s life (and all four husbands), I wanted to do something fun to involve all those in attendance. Drawing on my childhood experience, I chose to play a game I called Truth or Trivia with our guests. Picking one person at a time, I asked if he or she wanted to tell a true story about Mom or take a guess at a trivia question. I made a list of trivia questions regarding Mom’s natural hair color, middle name, shoe size, place of birth, etc. Most all those playing chose to tell a story about her rather than to try and guess at one of the trivia questions. I am so glad they did.
Having them tell Mom face-to-face how much she means to them as their grandma, great-grandma, aunt, stepmother or friend meant more to her than any presents could have. Some told stories that involved situations that happened more than 30 years ago. Others told more recent tales of times they have spent with her. All in all, it was an entertaining and emotional game.
This past week, I have wondered if I could or should have done anything different to make the party more special. I think not. Giving Mom’s loved ones a chance to share their thoughts of her face-to face, rather than wait and share them with others down the road at her memorial service, was in itself a precious gift. I’m not trying to be morbid but rather attempting to tell it as I see it. With this in mind, I remind you, our gentle readers, please tell those you love how you feel about them now, while you can. Life is fleeting— tempus fugit.
