No home, no hope? Local officials, agencies try to find parents for thousands of kids in County's system

Cory Bilicko:
Managing Editor

As the definition of “family” has undergone a shift in recent years, particularly with the legalization of same-sex marriage in California, couples who previously may have only dreamed of being parents are now being afforded that opportunity as a reality. It’s a paradigm change that may be a welcome one to Los Angeles County, which has become overburdened by children in its system who are in dire need of permanent homes.
Matching those prospective parents with the kids in need is a challenge that local elected officials and various organizations are attempting to address.
Eighth District Long Beach Councilmember Al Austin, 4th District L.A. County Supervisor Don Knabe, the L.A. County Department of Children and Family Services and other local agencies will host the second annual “Share Your Heart…Share Your Home” event on Saturday, March 28 for those interested in learning more about becoming a foster or adoptive parent. The event will also include information about becoming a weekend host for an older child. The session will last from 11am to 1pm in the Nordic Lounge (Building E) at Long Beach City College, 4901 E. Carson St.
The need
In Los Angeles County, the Department of Children and Family Services (DCFS) receives more than 10,000 calls each month about children who may be victims of child abuse and neglect, according to Austin’s office. In the month of February alone, DCFS investigated nearly 12,000 cases. After social workers investigate the calls, they determine that some children cannot safely live at home. If there are no family members who can take them in, the kids need to go into safe and loving foster homes until their parents can resolve their issues.
According to The Alliance for Children’s Rights, an advocacy group that protects the rights of impoverished, abused and neglected youth, 28,000 children are currently in foster care and 1,400 foster children are awaiting adoptive families in L.A. County. The Alliance also indicates that: 38 percent of California’s foster-care population is in L.A. County; abused and neglected children who are identified as victims in the past are 42 percent more likely to be abused and neglected again; nearly one half of foster-care children have learning disabilities or developmental delays; less than 50 percent of foster youth graduate from high school and only 3 percent graduate from college; and 50 percent of youth who have aged out of foster care end up homeless or incarcerated.
“There is not enough attention being placed on this need that impacts our community,” Councilmember Austin said. “The response to our last ‘Share Your Heart, Share Your Home’ event was incredible, but there continues to be a huge and ongoing need for more foster and adoptive families. I am honored to be working once again with Supervisor Knabe and DCFS on this important issue.”
One family’s story
Scott Sparks, who is originally from Orange County, met Wilber Rubio, who is from Long Island, when Sparks was in New York for work. After becoming a couple, the two men eventually set their sights back on the West Coast.
They relocated to Southern California, bought their property in Long Beach and lived with Sparks’s family until their house was built. They both wanted kids but didn’t want to begin the adoption process until they had moved into their new home.
Soon thereafter, they saw a TV segment of Wednesday’s Child, which highlights particular children waiting to be adopted.
“And that just kind of reminded us it’s time to get off the duff and start moving,” Sparks said. “So, we called the number, and they referred us to DCFS (Department of Children and Family Services), and DCFS invited us to an event where they were going to kind of explain the process, and they give you like a certificate because you have to have that orientation certificate before you can move on in the process. So, you go to that event— it’s like a three- or four-hour event— you learn about all the paperwork and the process. It’s kind of a weeding event, to kind of say, ‘Are you willing to go through the hoops you’re going to have to go through, because we don’t want to waste time if you’re not?'”
Sparks said that, after that orientation, interested adoptive parents must sign up for a parenting program that the County offers.
“It’s a series of courses that you have to take,” Sparks said. “We took it right here at Long Beach [City] College, but you can’t miss one. If you miss one, you’ve got to start all over. So, it’s their way of getting commitment.”
Sparks explained that he and Rubio attended about 12 classes, opting for particular weeknights.
“So, we went twice a week, for four hours a night, they served dinner,” Sparks said. “It’s like behavior intervention… they talk about the different types of kids— [from] special-needs to, you know, just your normal kid, from infant to teenagers, all the different types of adoption that you can get into. And what they’re doing, basically, is certifying you as a foster home, because L.A. County requires that you foster before you can adopt.”
Sparks wanted a younger child, but Rubio preferred an older kid with whom it would be easier to communicate. One thing they agreed upon is the desire to adopt both a boy and a girl. The couple had agreed that a ­ would not be a practical choice, since they both had careers.
“We go to a recruiting event, and we meet [Giovanni, Genesis and Angel], and I look at him, and I’m like, ‘Okay, here, we got the younger one that I wanted, we got the boy-girl combo, and we got an older one that you wanted. So what do you want to do?'” Sparks said. “It’s one more. So we did it. We said, ‘why not?'”
Sparks said that, when he and Rubio took the three siblings into their home, they did so to foster them with the intention of adopting them. They saw the siblings as kids they wanted to foster because they were interested in adopting them, as opposed to being a home that fosters children randomly until the time is right to adopt.
The “foster before adopting” approach is one that can be a bit of an emotional hazard for those who enter the program to become parents. They run the risk of becoming attached to children who are then returned to their biological parents.
“We both wanted to take as least risk as possible, so we were looking for kids that were close to termination of parental rights so that we wouldn’t get into a situation where we fell in love with, you know, a sibling set or something, and then they say, ‘Oh, they’re going back to Mom and Dad,’ which happens quite frequently. We’ve got a couple of friends who are going through that process now, that are finding out that the kids are going back [to their original homes]. They’re not going to get to keep them.”
Sparks explained that the County only terminates parental rights in extreme circumstances. While kids are in the foster-home process, their biological parents typically still have a say in decisions such as haircuts and medical treatment, for example. Sparks said that the court system attempts to reunify children with their birth parents up until a permanent home is found.
Sparks and Rubio said, as a same-sex couple, they actually didn’t encounter more challenges and scrutiny than a heterosexual couple would face.
“I don’t necessarily think we had challenges, because, actually, they’re actively recruiting gay and lesbian families to adopt,” Sparks said. “They’re kind of the new frontier, I would say, because we don’t have unplanned pregnancies. We’re actually planning to have children.”
The only resistance the couple faced regarding homosexuality came about during one of the parenting classes when a prospective adopter voiced that a gay child would not be welcome in his home. Sparks said the moderator of the class suggested to the man that he “step out of the process now” because that is not a factor he would be able to control.
Although the couple indicated that the County is welcoming to prospective gay parents, Rubio noted that filling out the paperwork can present some interesting challenges.
“For example, there’s still like ‘Mom’ and ‘Dad’ [on the forms],” Rubio said. “Now they’re starting to change it to ‘Parent 1’ and ‘Parent 2.'”
The couple joked that they would agree to take turns being the ‘mom’ when it came time to make those designations.
The adjustment period
Sparks and Rubio said they took several measures to make their home a welcoming one to the kids. They said, as part of the process of vetting potential State and County foster homes, inspectors are sent into the homes to ensure they are safe and appropriate. Sparks said they look for things like age-appropriate bedding for the children and that knives and alcohol are locked up­.
“Before they can actually move in, you have to like ‘court’ them and see them a couple of times,” Rubio said. “So what we did [is] we actually… have pictures of them in their rooms… we asked them, ‘What do you like?’ She likes Hello Kitty, so we bought Hello Kitty stuff.”
Rubio said that, because the kids’ rooms had been customized to their likes, they immediately felt welcome there.
To make sure the children were comfortable with the fact that their new parents would be same-sex partners, the couple bought several books about gay parents, as well as some that feature other types of unorthodox parents, such as a book about two geese that adopt a cat and another, based on a true story, about two male penguins that care for a penguin egg and raise the baby after it hatches.
Sparks and Rubio also said they belong to several same-sex-parenting social groups in Long Beach, so their kids are exposed to other children with gay mothers and fathers.
Rubio said that raising a family as an adoptive gay couple in Long Beach, as opposed to Orange County or other states, has made the whole process much easier.
“For me, what surprised me the most, is people just see us as a family,” Rubio said. “The most random people, that you don’t expect— they just see us as family, and when we have play dates, they don’t ask, ‘Where’s the mom?'”
Finding more moms and dads
At the “Share Your Heart…Share Your Home” event on Saturday, March 28, a panel featuring current foster parents and resource providers will share their experiences and answer questions about what is involved in providing a stable foster or adoptive home. Information will also be available on additional resources and support that are available to families that open up their homes. Lunch will be provided, and there will be a supervised play area for the children of attendees.
To also help raise awareness, the Heart Gallery will be on display in the lobby of Long Beach City Hall, presenting a unique portrait exhibit of adoptable children and sibling groups sharing the same dream of having a permanent family. Those pictured in the gallery are actual children in need of permanent homes.
Foster and adoptive parents can be single, married, divorced or living with a partner. They can live in an apartment or house, and either rent or own. There is no minimum income requirement, other than supporting oneself and providing a safe and stable home. Financial assistance, medical coverage and supportive services are available.
To learn more about adopting or fostering, people can call (888) 811-1121 or visit the website www.ShareYourHeartLA.org.
To RSVP for Saturday’s event or for more information, please call 888-811-1121. ß