According to the Oxford Dictionary, the word “allegedly” is an adverb that is used to convey that something is claimed to be the case or have taken place, although there is no proof.
With that being said, I’m sure that if Santa will indeed travel the world in just one night, his anticipation of his long, strenuous journey must create a stress level for him that must be through the roof about now. I know that most of us are stressed as well. Spending money, shopping, wrapping, mailing, delivering packages and attending all those mandatory holiday events is exhausting for us humans.
During this stressful time, I want to lighten the mood for all of us by sharing a very funny message that I recently received from my cousin Jessica. Although she didn’t create the writing, I certainly appreciate her for sending it to me. After reading it, I did add a few of my own written wonderings to her original message. Here it is; enjoy:
I have so many unanswered questions. For example: I still haven’t found out who let the dogs out, where’s the beef, how to get to Sesame Street, why Dora doesn’t just use Google Maps, why all flavors of Fruit Loops taste exactly the same, or how many licks it takes to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop. Why are eggs packaged in flimsy paper cartons, but CDs are secured in plastic that takes a jackhammer to open? Don’t jackhammers crunch the CDs? Is it all a plot to force us to buy more CDs when the ones we bought in the first place are broken by jackhammers?
Furthermore, why is the word “abbreviated” so long, or why is there a D in ‘fridge’ but not in refrigerator? Also, why is grocery-store lemon juice made with artificial flavor yet dish-washing liquid is made with real lemons? I also question why they sterilize the needle for lethal injections.
Why is it said that folks “put their two cents in” but it’s only a “penny for your thoughts.” Where does that extra penny go?
I often wonder why the Alphabet Song and Twinkle Twinkle Little Star have the same tune, as well as why you just tried to sing both of those songs as if checking to see if I was correct. Don’t you trust me?
Other things I wonder about is what exactly is Victoria’s secret? Why do we drive on a parkway and park on a driveway? Also, why is the collective term for crows a murder, yet the similar-looking bird, a raven, when described in a grouping is referred to as an unkindness? Why are such morbid-sounding descriptions given to those birds? Are Edgar Allan Poe’s writings to blame? Groups of far more ominous birds are given much kinder labels; vultures are known as colonies, and buzzards when gathered are a wake. I just don’t get it. Who decides these things?
And last, but not least, why do we pay gas prices that end in 9/10th of a cent? What if I wanted to buy just one gallon of gas? How would I get my 1/10th of a cent change?
Thanks for reading this. I hope it has helped take your mind off the hustle-bustle of what can be a very stressful time of year.
May you all have a lovely Christmas filled with good health, good friends and a never-ending roll of wrapping paper.
