Leigh Broadway, district liaison for AARP, presents caregiving strategies during a workshop on Jan. 14 at the Alpert Jewish Community Center.
Representing AARP, Leigh Broadway explained the purpose of the “Prepare to Care” workshop.
“Today,” Broadway said, “our goal is to provide practical information and resources to help you care for your loved ones more effectively.”
Thus, the question revolving around the event, according to Broadway, was “Are you prepared to care?”
Throughout Broadway’s presentation, she referred to certain steps when it comes to caregiving. These steps include starting the conversation, calculating finances, forming a team, making a plan, looking for resources and finding support.
“Tips for starting the conversation,” she said. “Look for an opening and […] really just get them talking. Maybe in a casual way. It doesn’t have to be a real serious sit-down, you know, table talk. Just talk to them, and listen to what they have to say. I think it is important that the one you are caring for feels like you care about their opinion.”
In terms of finances, Broadway recommended examining life insurance, long-term health, veterans’ benefits, pensions or home equity. She also suggests seeking professional help if needed.
A part of the conversation that becomes difficult, according to Broadway, is counter resistance.
“Counter resistance— ‘I just don’t want to talk about it,'” she said. “Well, that’s pretty common. I think nobody really wants to talk end-of-life care and what will happen if. It’s a difficult conversation for everybody, but it has to be done.”
After evaluating the components of starting the conversation, Broadway explained the next step.
“Form your team,” Broadway said. “If you have family that is nearby, round them up and sit down to talk about it. […] If you live close by or you live at a distance, you have to talk about how often do they need a visit. ‘Do we need to bring in somebody once a week in between the time the family can visit?’ And, just have that discussion. What types of tasks do they need assistance with and the activities of daily living? Do they need bathing? Do they need somebody to do the shopping, cleaning, cooking?”
When forming the team, she explains how different members can play different roles in the caregiving process.
“Assess the number of people available,” Broadway said. “Then, assign those roles and responsibilities based on something people love to do, that they are able to do and that they are available to do.”
The second part of the presentation was conducted by Claudia Ellano-Ota, director of community development for the Southern Caregiver Resource Center. Ota began with an explanation on how to start making a plan.
“So, you are going to make that plan, and, again, it is directed by your loved ones,” Ota said. “As long as they are cognitively, mentally intact enough to say ‘This is what I want, and this is how I want to live out my life,’ they really direct it.”
After the plan is established, Ota listed the numerous resources available.
“I mentioned, if you are dealing with dementia care, the Alzheimer’s Association is amazing in helping you out,” she said. “Cancer with the Cancer Society, Diabetes Association, all the neurological disorders, but for you, the caregiver, one of your best first calls is actually calling a caregiver resource center or your local service like Jewish Community Center, Catholic Charities, Alzheimer’s Association and just reaching out. They’ll get you connected.”
Ota emphasized the health of the caregiver as equally, if not more, important than that of the loved ones being cared for.
“Many times, family caregivers say, ‘Well, there isn’t time for me’ or ‘I have sort of ceased to exist,'” Ota said. “So, you don’t want to lose yourself in this journey. I have to say that there’s research out there that shows that the effects and impacts of family caregiving definitely affects the health and well being of the family caregivers. Depression is very common. New health conditions arise, because you are not eating properly or resting properly. So many things can happen to you. It’s sort of like that little adage on the plane, they say, ‘Put your oxygen mask on first.’ Same thing is about caregiving.”
In order to balance caregiving and daily life routines, Ota explained that support can come from family members, local churches or faith groups and even neighbors.
“People say to you, ‘Oh, let me know if there is anything I can do to help,’ and we always go, ‘OK,'” Ota said. “I am going to suggest— make the list. There are things. Maybe if your friend says that, you can say, ‘You know, I don’t know if this could work for you, but maybe once a week, I need someone to run to the pharmacy. I can’t leave her alone. Could you run to the pharmacy?’ or ‘Can you sit with Mom, so I can run out to the pharmacy, and maybe, go get myself an ice-cream cone?’ Well, maybe that’s not the healthiest one, but you know, a treat for yourself.”
In order to give the best possible care for loved ones, Ota said caregivers must focus on their health as well.
“At the caregiver resource center that I worked at, our little tagline was ‘Thrive, not survive,'” Ota said. “You need to thrive while being a caregiver— not just survive it.”
More information about starting the conversation and making a plan is available at AARP’s caregiver line at (877) 333-5885.
