The fit has been so good that we have grown into a family. And not just a family of adults; I’m referring to the students too. We help each other, we care about each other, and we enjoy each other. We have worked together to build community and kinship…and healing. The healing is mutual, so pause for a moment and understand.
One’s mind’s-eye may envision a caring adult compassionately addressing a student’s emotional needs. That happens, every day, many times a day. Now envision an adult taking the time to show compassion and support to a fellow adult in need, sharing their struggles and helping them through their day.
Finally, envision a student whom the adult knows carries unfathomable emotional burdens, approaching this adult with his head held high with tremendous pride, smiling and excited to share the news of getting his first job.
Kristen Beckerdite (right), a teacher at Beach High School, created jerseys for staff and included one for the writer that has “It’s About T.I.M.E.” on the back.
It’s About T.I.M.E. is designed to be a two-year training model, developing sustainability in the form of a lasting culture shift and trauma-informed lens once the consultant has moved on to another school. Saying goodbye to my Beach family is excruciatingly difficult for me. But I leave knowing my program is in good hands, and caring hearts.
Without me, my Beach family can continue to provide the students with compassion, patience, understanding and creative ways of regulating with calming sensory activities. I see them in action every week, implementing and integrating NME (Child Trauma Academy’s Neurosequential Model in Education) principles with their Restorative Justice and Safe and Civil practices.
There are too many stories to tell of my time at Beach. There is tremendous laughter. There are deep, revealing conversations between students and caring adults of subject matter so painful the student had never dared tell anyone until then. There is pride and encouragement of students finding the motivation and confidence to care about themselves enough to succeed academically. There are student harsh words, tears, apologies and gratitude towards caring adults for understanding that they sometimes need to be loved the most when they deserve it the least because that is when they need it the most. These various occurrences happen regularly, and they will continue to occur once I’m gone.
The school is thriving, and I couldn’t be more proud.
As some things come to an end, others continue, and others get a chance to begin. Luckily, I have another family at Poly PAAL High School. As my first year with them comes to an end, I am excited to see the growth of a trauma-informed community between staff and students. Much like Beach, there are too many stories to tell at PAAL of laughter, tears, pride and reconciliation. This foundation will continue to grow, next year and beyond, when it will be time for me to say goodbye to my PAAL family as well.
Next fall I will grow with a new family, as It’s About T.I.M.E. comes to Jane Addams Elementary. I recently met with Mr. Duenas, Addams’ principal, along with the school counselor and school psychologist to gauge the fit of my program with this family. I left that meeting feeling utterly elated. And this feeling was mutual.
It’s rare that a group of adult administrators come together with everything that everyone says aligning perfectly, spawning a surging excitement and optimism. I won’t assert the cliché of “some things being meant to be,” but I’ll tell you this: Mr. Duenas explained that less than an hour before I called to introduce myself and pitch my program, he was feeling extremely frustrated and deflated, lamenting how in need his students and staff were of a trauma-informed program. He couldn’t believe the timing of my call.
My response? “It’s About T.I.M.E.,” of course.
Nathan Swaringen, LCSW is a school-based clinical therapist at The Guidance Center, which provides comprehensive mental-health treatment to the local community’s most disadvantaged children and their families struggling with mental illness and abuse.