Submitted by Linda Nusbaum
As the year 2007 ends, many of us are thinking about what we’d like to accomplish in the new year. Perhaps we are leaving some difficult times or maybe we just want to plan for more success and happiness.
So we make New Year’s resolutions to jump-start good habits. Maybe we want to lose a few pounds, get back on that exercise program or stay in better touch with old friends. Whatever you are interested in attaining in the new year, I’d like to add one more idea to your list.
How about improving your relationship with yourself?
How often do you hear yourself say the words, or think the words “stupid” or “dumb” when you make a mistake?
When was the last time you praised yourself, not just for the big accomplishments such as graduating or getting a new job, but for the little things like being a kind person or making someone’s coffee?
What would it feel like to be your own support base and healer?
As a mental health therapist, this is one of the surest routes to avoid distress. When a person improves how he or she feels about him/herself, the outside world has less of a chance to impact that person.
So think of this as a way to build a stronger you. You won’t have to lift 50-pound weights or run a marathon to achieve it either. You will have to pay attention to your thoughts though.
The next time you have an accident or make a mistake, instead of labeling yourself one of those choice words, try something like this, “I’m sorry that happened, and I love you.” Yes, I know this may sound odd, but just try this experiment.
Call yourself one of your regular names and take a moment to feel what it does to your body. Now use the preceding phrase and say it with your full heart. Feel any difference?
Let’s go one step further. Find something you appreciate in yourself; it could be anything. Maybe you offered someone a ride, or just took a moment to read a good book. Say to yourself, “I appreciate you for (fill in the details). Thank you.”
It may not seem like much, but how do you think you’ll feel when you hear it? You might feel pretty good.
And once you feel the difference, and you like it and repeat it often, you will be on your way to improving your relationship with yourself. Prize this relationship like you would your most trusted friends; after all, they are truly in your corner.
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Linda Nusbaum is a mental health therapist and former Emmy Award-winning broadcast journalist. She will present a seminar on empowerment Saturday, Jan. 12 at the El Dorado Branch Library, 2900 Studebaker Road. For information call (562) 293-1737.
