by Neena Strichart
Over the years, I have written several columns on the topic of gift-giving. The ongoing theme was to encourage our readers to make, buy or somehow find presents for loved ones that would be appreciated, wanted or needed. Keeping with that thought, I am reminded of a message that I wrote five years ago and had printed on the back of my mother’s birthday-party invitations:
I hope that you can make it, to share this day with me. Your presence is requested, my heart would fill with glee. I need not things in boxes, or gifties sent by post. Instead I need good wishes, for that would mean the most! No gifts please!
My message was warmly accepted. Well, maybe not warmly. However, the more than 100 attendees respected Mom’s wishes and kept the gift-giving to a minimum. She was delighted.
Thinking about gift-giving, I am reminded of one of the best presents I ever received from my mother. Wrapped in a beautiful package and tied with a colorful ribbon, I received from Mom, several years ago, a beautiful address book that she purchased from Arizona Highways. The photo on the cover is a breathtaking shot of the Arizona desert featuring the Grand Canyon. Inside, each alphabetical tab is adorned with a different picture of other desert scenes, waterfalls and ruins as well as gorgeous close-ups of wildflowers and cactus. Besides the book itself, Mom gave me the gift of her time by filling in the addresses, phone numbers and important dates related to our family members and precious long-time friends, and seeing her lovely penmanship every time I thumb through the address book makes me feel especially close to my loving mother. Her thoughtfulness and the generosity involved in the book has allowed me to keep in better contact with those with whom I might have lost touch.
Last Saturday, Mom, once again, gave me a gift involving her time. After we finished a home-cooked meal that I prepared (antipasto salad and gluten-free pasta with sauce), my mother handed me a piece of paper where she had listed several names and phone numbers. Recognizing all of the names, I asked her why she had written them out for me. Her answer, accompanied by a sweet smile, was this: “If something should happen to me, I want you to have all the contacts and numbers on one piece of paper so you don’t have to even think about who to call.”
I knew what prompted the gesture. I recently saw a posting on Facebook regarding one of our family member’s negative health status. When I shared the information with Mother, she declared that she knew nothing about it, and, frankly, she was pretty miffed about hearing the news second-hand after a posting on social media. After some messaging on my part and two phone conversations on Mom’s part, we finally got to the bottom of it— the family member in question is currently feeling just fine.
Now, don’t get me wrong; Mom is not a social-media hater, but having given up her Internet a year or two ago, she feels a bit out of the loop when younger family members rely on sites like Facebook for announcements good, bad or indifferent. Her gift to me of that one sheet of paper will help me reach out quickly to those she wants contacted should she be unable to do so herself. I appreciate her thoughtfulness and will certainly carry out her wishes!along with postings on my personal Facebook account!
