Most evenings, soon after dinner, I announce to Steve that I am going into the bedroom to call my mother. Knowing that an hour or more phone conversation is in the making, he finds something to do that will not require my assistance, participation or approval.
Before calling, I usually have a couple of topics in mind that I believe Mom will find entertaining.
Earlier this week, as I started to dial Mom’s number, I found myself guessing what her responses would be to my seemingly endless list of subjects. Amusing myself with thoughts of her comments, I decided to play a game and see if I could figure out what she might say first during our chat. Here were my guesses:
Oh my stars!
Oh, for pity’s sake!
Oh, for crying out loud!
For the love of Mike (or Pete)!
Whaaaaaaat? (getting louder as the word stretches out)
I don’t give a hang.
Well, there’s more than one way to skin a cat.
It’s better than nuttin’ (nothing).
Oh, my foot! (declaration that someone isn’t telling the truth). Oh, fiddle! (nonsense).
I did a pretty good job with my guessing game. She did indeed come through with an “oh, my stars,” right from the get-go.
Later that evening I decided to make a tally of some of my own sayings. Although I don’t know where I picked up most of them, here are a few of my idioms (the ones fit for print):
Cuter than Christmas on a cracker.
Life is too long to… (rather than the typical “life is too short to…” ) Like taking ants to a picnic, or, like taking coals to Newcastle.
Lord love a duck!
I’m smober (smoke-free).
Adding insult to injury
Read between the lines (while holding up three fingers).
Is it nice or necessary? (stolen from Signal Hill Councilmember Mike Noll)
It’s better than a poke in the eye with a sharp stick. (that one came back to bite me when I said it to a fellow with a prosthetic eye— true story!)
My friend Kathy has several of her own. For instance:
Push me, here I come. Not to the left, not to the right, somewhere in between (she tells me it is naughty, I didn’t ask questions).
If wishes were horses then beggars would ride. (Kathy said her mother taught her that saying.)
Not knowing what the heck it means, I looked it up on the Internet. I did find some information on the saying. Dictionary.com defines the quote as, “If wishing could make things happen, then even the most destitute people would have everything they wanted.”
Looking further into the quote, saying, poem or song, here’s what I found on the website allnurseryrhymes.com :
Also known as a proverb, “If wishes were horses, beggars would ride” is a traditional nursery rhyme originating from the 16th century England. The meaning of the proverb is that it is not enough to wish upon something, you have to take action if you want it to happen.
A similar proverb was first recorded in the “Remaines of a Greater Worke, Concerning Britaine” published by William Camden (1551— 1623) “If wishes were thrushes beggers would eat.” The first version of the proverb, closed to the modern version, was published in the Scottish Proverbs, Collected and Arranged by James Kelly, in 1721. The rhyme as it is known today was published in James Orchard Halliwell’s English Nursery Rhymes collection around 1840s. It had a different last line, meant to encourage the children working more and questioning less:” If if’s and and’s were pots and pans, there’d surely be dishes to do”
“If Wishes were Horses” lyrics If wishes were horses
Beggars would ride
If turnips were watches
I would wear one by my side.
And if if’s and and’s were pots and pans, The tinker would never work!
If you have more to the story, or want to send us your favorite short saying, rhyme or poem, please send it to us at newspaper@signaltribune.com . We’d love to share your words with our other readers.
